JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008 – HOW DO WE ESCAPE FROM THE STRESS?

I am going to share with you a little essay one of our readers sent to me. It is about the burden of stress. My comments are at the end of it.

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. 

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. 
It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. 
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.  "
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a
while and rest before holding it again.

When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

This is a lovely sentiment, BUT how does an Alzheimer spouse put the burden down and rest? Some of you are able to lay down the burden for a few hours a week while your spouses are in Day Care; some of you employ home health aides a couple of days or hours a week. Some are lucky enough to have family members or friends who can offer you a spell of respite. If you are able to take some deep breaths, rest, and leave your stress behind for even a brief period of time, do not deny yourself that opportunity. Even a short refresher can infuse you with enough energy to carry on again.

Many of you work full time, take care of children, AND take care of your spouses. Many of you are not physically strong yourselves. Many of you are full time caregivers with no respite. Even those who take on this responsibility willingly, lovingly, and with no regrets, suffer stress and burnout. I have seen and heard from many via e-mail, at conferences, and in my Support Group, who crumble under the burdensome weight, and some actually feel guilty because they cannot handle all of it all of the time. We applaud your devotion, but you cannot give the best of yourself without a break. It would benefit both you and your spouse if you call in relief troops at least once a week, whether it is family, friends, or professional.

If you are at a loss as to where to go or who to call for help, Click Here for complete and thorough information on where and how to find help. On that page, click on "personal care finder" to get started.

So when I first read the little essay, I thought – many AD spouses CANNOT put down their burden. But with a little research, you can. Please use the link I provided to check out your options. The stress relief we obtain will benefit both us and our spouses.

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