JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, MAY 27, 2008 – I AM SINKING INTO THE WORLD OF AD – NO WAY OUT.

Recently I noticed that one of our message board members who had been a frequent poster, and had corresponded with me regularly via e-mail, had not contacted me in over a month.  I was concerned for both her and her spouse’s health, so I e-mailed her.

She graciously e-mailed me to let me know how she was doing, and one of her statements really made me stop and think. She said that she just doesn’t want to think of AD all of the time. That made me realize that I am immersed so deep into the world of AD now, that I cannot escape. In January, I wrote a Blog about straddling two worlds – the AD world and the “normal” world. I said that I was relating less and less to the “normal” world, and was being pulled into the AD world. The transition is almost complete.

Almost all of our social circle is comprised of friends from our AD support group (and for them, I am grateful); my website has become my business; my emotional outlet; my networking (and for all of that, I am grateful). My intellectual stimulation comes from conferences, lectures, and forums I attend, all related to AD.

When I meet someone new, and they ask me what I do; what keeps me busy, (besides my voracious appetite for romantic thriller novels), AD writing, advocating, networking, speaking, and attending conferences is what keeps me busy. I absolutely love doing all of it, but it has become my whole life. I would like to be able to cross over into the other world for a short stay, and I cannot. AD has completely enveloped my life, my conversation, my ideas, my friendships. It is an absolute fact that at this time in my life, this is where I am.

How odd life is. For the last 4 years of my public education career, I yearned to be doing something else. I wanted to fulfill my lifelong dream of writing; I wanted to meet people who were not in the education field; I wanted to get away from surly teenagers; leave the educational bureaucracy behind. My wish was fulfilled, but not in the way I intended. I did not intend for my husband’s horrific illness to propel me into a new career.

I wonder. Am I doing it all wrong? Is there a way to live in both worlds? As always, I look to you for answers. Message Board Topic: Immersed in the World of AD – Can you live in both worlds?

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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