JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 2008 – SEEKING OUTSIDE THERAPY- WHEN SUPPORT GROUP ISN'T ENOUGH

My goodness, I must not be coping very well when people in my Support Group tell me that I need to seek private therapy and/or get on Zoloft. So if any of you out there feel that you are falling apart at the seams, you are not alone. I am right there with you.

Yesterday, I was given the advice, which I have also dispensed myself often enough, that I need to take care of myself, both physically and emotionally, or I will be useless as a caregiver. Or dead, which would definitely hinder my caregiving ability. ( At least my sense of humor is still intact – a good sign, I would think.)

Seriously, the issue of “letting go” that I discussed in the 2/15/08 Blog (see below) and the driving drama we have endured these past weeks have taken their toll on me. How often have I given the advice, as well as taken it myself, to seek solace in interesting activities, go out with friends, seek support from those who understand? I have done all of these things, yet anxiety and stress are still my constant companions.

The crushing burdens that all of us feel - worrying about the finances; handling the insurance claims; tax issues; doctor appointments; Alzheimer behaviors and mood swings; holding a job; looking for a job; explaining EVERYTHING to a spouse who doesn’t understand; doing EVERYTHING – would be difficult, of course, but almost bearable if it weren’t for the slipping away of the strong emotional bond.  I honestly do not know how to cope with that. I don’t.

So off I will go to a therapist. Even in this, I am being my usual control freak self.  I will only see someone who has experience in the field of Alzheimer’s and spousal coping. I will let you know when I find someone, and if it helps. Has anyone else tried therapy for help in coping with a “disappearing spouse” ?

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