JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2008 – PREPARING FOR THE WORST – IF YOU DIE BEFORE YOUR SPOUSE

To be perfectly blunt about this – have you prepared for the possibility that you may die before your spouse?

I purchased life insurance recently- far less than I needed due to the cost, but at least enough to pay off debts in the event of my untimely death. The policy went into effect immediately upon my first payment, which I made at the insurance office as I was signing the policy, so if I left the office, and got killed in a car accident on the way home, I was covered. The only stipulation of policy pay-out is that I not commit suicide for at least two years after purchasing the policy. “Are you kidding?”, I said to the agent. “I have too many responsibilities to die, much less do it voluntarily!”

So I’m not planning on dying anytime soon, but as we all know, we have little control over that situation. It started me thinking seriously of what would happen to Sid if I did die suddenly. We had all of the legal documents taken care of a year ago, including naming our son to replace me as main medical and legal decision maker. But within the 4 inch wide, three ringer binder of legal documents there is not a list of the nitty gritty of daily living – names, account numbers, and computer passwords of every monthly bill (I pay 90% of my bills online); names, account numbers, and locations of every bill paid by mail; names and locations of insurance policies.

I would urge you to do as I am in the process of doing – listing all of the above, and putting the list in a separate, sealed envelope, addressed to the person who will be responsible for paying your bills, placing it with the legal documents, and alerting that person as to it’s existence and location.

Then there are living arrangements to consider. Is your spouse capable of living on his/her own? If the answer is yes, who will be responsible for monitoring their medications, taking them to the doctor, watching for signs of decline? Is the guardian you appointed aware of these responsibilities? If not, you had better make it clear to them.  If your spouse cannot live alone, where will they live? Have you discussed that with the guardian? If Medicaid is involved, and an out-of-state move is required, rules are different in every state, so I would suggest checking into that situation now, and discussing it with the out-of-state guardian.

The care and living arrangements for your Alzheimer afflicted spouse are extremely important, should be discussed with the guardian, and put in writing with all of the other legal documents. In Florida, where I live, there is a law that states a certain percentage of the estate must be left for the care of the person with Alzheimer’s Disease. If I am remembering this correctly, our lawyer said that HOW they are cared for is up to that guardian, that there are not legal papers to designate specifics. I will check with her later this afternoon just to make sure on that one. Each state has different laws, so you would have to verify it with your own lawyer.

No one wants to think they will be hit by a bus tomorrow, but the possibility exists, so it is best to be thoroughly prepared. MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC: What if you die first?

©Copyright 2008 Joan Gershman

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