JOAN’S BLOG – MON/TUE, DECEMBER 15/16, 2008 –  A CAREGIVER’S REBELLION!

Many of our member spousal caregivers are exhausted from the physical aspects of caregiving. You have the task of taking care of a child in an adult’s body, which involves feeding, changing, bathing, lifting, being on 24 hour alert for wandering, AND handling all of the household chores.

My situation is different. Although I am physically tired from the driving, running around to doctors and errands, and general household duties, not to mention my many working enterprises, that is not what is bringing me down. It is the emotional exhaustion of dealing with my husband’s mood swings. , rage outbursts, tears, constant arguments (his arguments – I have learned to not argue back in most cases), and depression, that is wearing me out.

Realizing that I am luckier than most in the “caregiving” department, in that I do not have to dress, shave, wash, or feed my husband, I took a “rebellion day.” I refused to get out of bed on Sunday for most of the day. Since Sid was in a good mood, and expending his best efforts at being pleasant and helpful, he cuddled me when I needed it, and left me alone when I needed that too. I slept; I rested; I luxuriated in the comfort and softness of my thick foam mattress cover; got up to eat some cereal and chocolate chip cookies(great combo!); answered some e-mails; and went back to bed to read. It felt wonderful.

I highly recommend a “rebellion day” for all caregivers. Remember my Holiday Caregiver Tip # 4 – An appropriate gift for the caregiver – RESPITE CARE. Ask a family member or friend to either take your spouse for a day or pay for a day of professional respite care, and you stay in bed all day. It’s a treat.

Back to the rat race on Monday, but my “Rebellion Day” was refreshing.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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