JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – OUR VISIT TO “INDEPENDENT LIVING”

A mere 17 days ago, I wrote a blog about CONSIDERING a life style change to Independent Living. On Friday, Sid and I went to visit a facility that has a neighborhood of attached  “villas”, which are little attached houses with their own pool and clubhouse. They are on the grounds with the main Assisted Living building that houses small apartments, dining room, activity rooms, media room (including Wii), and physical therapy rehab center. That building also has a dementia unit.

We met the activities director, who explained that the villa residents are welcome to come to the Assisted Living building to participate in all of the activities, as well as to join the Men’s Club or the Women’s Club. The Men’s Club goes on fishing, casino, restaurant, and whatever else they can dream up for “outings”.

I may be in fantasy land, but I do not think I am old enough or ready for that type of living. (Don’t we always think we are “too young” to be in the next stage of life that sneaks up on us?) However, Sid’s needs are paramount, and he desperately needs the type of environment that will provide structure, safety, and activities from which he can choose to participate if he so desires. I need stress free living without the burden of home maintenance and repairs, and without worrying that he is withering away from lack of activity. 

So we took our tour. The villas are lovely, but SMALL. They actually are perfect for one person and a miniature poodle. However, we are two people, one almost 6 feet tall, and the other although almost as short as a miniature poodle, quite wide.

Seriously, there is far less room than I am used to, and there are some requirements in a house that I cannot sacrifice. An office and a den being two of them. The villas have one good size extra bedroom that could be used as either an office or a den, but I need both. The living room does not have the size or shape to accommodate our den furniture, if we chose to use that as the den.

We went home and did what we always used to do when making a big decision. I took a sheet of paper, divided it down the middle, and wrote “pros” on one side and “cons” on the other. Sid, who was always an active participant in this process, was very quiet and confused.

When we finished, the list was quite lopsided. 20 pros and 2 cons, and after much measuring, reviewing, and creative thinking, I figured out how I could have both a den and an office. I am going to print the exact list we made, because one of our members recently asked how to know if you are ready for Assisted Living. Although this is not Assisted Living, it is a big change from total responsibility of home ownership to service provided Independent Living. I do believe this list will be a help to anyone trying to make a life style change decision.

There are a lot of details to be worked out, including a time line and financial considerations, but if those can be resolved, we will make the move.

Here is our list:

Pros
Located in an area with which we are both familiar – a 3 mile boulevard that includes 3 of our doctors, every restaurant and store we could need, and friends living nearby.
A $500 credit towards window blinds

Included in the Monthly Fee:
People for Sid to socialize with
Scheduled activities from which he can choose to participate
Off site trips to movies, casinos, fishing, restaurants – transportation provided
Pool and clubhouse
Water aerobics led by certified rehab and occupational therapists
All maintenance and repairs
Hurricane proof windows
Weekly Cleaning service
Electricity, water, and basic cable
Dinner meal
Landscaping service
Pest Control

The house has:
2 bedrooms/2 baths
Fully equipped kitchen with counter and bar stools; granite countertops
Morning room/breakfast nook
Living room/Dining room
Screened patio
One car garage
Stackable washer and dryer

We would have no real estate taxes, no Homeowner Association Fees, no cleaning service costs, and no worries about Sid having to get on an 8 foot ladder to change a smoke detector battery. Pick up the phone and call maintenance.

When the time comes, Sid can move into the dementia unit, and I will be a short walk away from him.

Cons
It’s small
No gym on premises, but the full scale gym located in our medical facility that we used to belong to is around the corner, so I guess that balances out as a “semi-pro”.
It’s small

Sid was agreeable to the move, and although apprehensive about acclimating to a new environment, was pleased that it was an area with which he is familiar. His reaction reinforced my belief that skipping the step of moving to an “over 55” housing development is the right course of action. It would be too confusing and traumatic for him to have to move every time his needs changed. Actually, moving is too stressful, too much work, and too exhausting for either of us to keep doing it.

So there you have it. Our case boils down to quality of life versus a lot of space. I am trying to be mature about this by choosing the NEED for quality of life over the WANT of lots of space. I hope the list I prepared helps any of you who are struggling with a moving decision.

Please post message board comments under the existing topic: Considering a LIfe Style Change.

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