JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, AUGUST 1, 2008 – THE PSYCHIATRIST VISIT

Wednesday night AFTER  I posted the Wed/Thur. Blog, we had another extremely rough experience, as I spent an hour and a half remaining calm, while standing as my AD husband’s verbal punching bag over his driving loss.  The furious rants, complete with fist pounding to his chest, of how I had taken a knife and stabbed him in the heart; how he was confused and was trying to figure out why I did such a thing to him; that I was the only one who saw anything wrong with him, and on and on and on until after midnight. It left me in as much pain as if he had been the one with the knife to MY heart, and I sobbed myself to sleep, questioning how much longer I could possibly put up with this.

My answer came as I was trying to drag myself out of bed on Thursday morning. A call from the psychiatrist’s office – They had a cancellation – could we come in at noon instead of two weeks from now?  I was in the shower as soon as the phone was back in the cradle. ANOTHER 50 mile trip, my third in a week, but I wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity.

There are apparently a huge amount of disturbed and distressed people in Florida, because we waited THREE HOURS to see the psychiatrist. Now, as if I wasn’t in a bad enough mood to begin with, waiting THREE HOURS did nothing to assuage it.

My main purpose in taking Sid to the psychiatrist was for him to help him cope with his anger and depression – to hopefully give him medication to ease the burden for him. For as much as he does not believe it, I do not want him to go through such torture.

While we were sitting with the psychiatrist, he read through the notes taken at the pre- interview by an assistant we sat with AN HOUR BEFORE. After asking the expected general questions about how Sid felt and why, he came to the conclusion that Sid was angry, depressed, and a bit paranoid. YES, I BELIEVE I COULD HAVE TOLD HIM THAT, AND NOT HAVE WAITED THREE ^&*#@ HOURS TO DO IT.

He did tell Sid that it was important to get the anger and depression under control, because they will make the memory loss worse. He also told me that much of Sid’s paranoia was fueled by my handling the insurance snafus “behind his back”; that I should have taken him with me to the insurance company, so he could hear the liability and other issues straight from them. Point well taken. I actually considered it, but was so afraid he would cause a major scene in the office, that I decided against it.

He recommended Rispadol, Lexapro, and another visit. But isn’t there always a wrench in the works? He had to call the Drug Trial doctor to check if Sid could take the drugs before his first infusion for the BAP III trial. Of course, the answer was no – hold off for two weeks, until after the infusion, for which we still do not have a set appointment.

So I had driven an hour, sat for three hours, had another hour drive home, for what? For him to then tell my husband that although he had only known Sid for 15 minutes, he “didn’t seem that bad to him.”  I thought I was going to have a stroke right then and there. I have put up with that kind of talk from his primary care physician, from his urologist, and from countless other non- professional people who meet him and talk with him for an hour or so. But from a psychiatrist specializing in Alzheimer’s Disease?

As you well know from your own experiences, these people DO NOT LIVE with our spouses. They do not wake up every morning with someone who does not remember the day before, even though they are capable of carrying on a reciprocal conversation for a period of time. They do not live with the confusion, the lack of abstract thinking, the endless questions, the repetitious statements.

Marsh, our member who is a retired physician, I give you a standing ovation for trying to educate doctors that a 15 minute visit does not tell the Alzheimer story, even if you are a psychiatrist.

Sid is calm for now. He has agreed to try the medication when the trial doctor gives the okay.

As for me, I do know that when I would rather pull the covers over my head than get out of bed in the morning; that when I cry all day long; and when Xanaax is useless as an aspirin, it is time to call my primary care and request an anti-depressant. Which I will do today.

We have an opportunity to go out to the movies with a group of friends late this afternoon, and then to an early dinner afterwards. I declined, opting instead for a “date night” for just the two of us – a little quiet time together free of rages and tears. Hopefully. Wish us luck.

MESSAGE BOARD TOPIC: The Psychiatrist Visit

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved