JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, JULY 28, 2008 – JOAN IS DOING ALL OF THE DRIVING – TO QUOTE DR. PHIL – “HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?”

As my husband’s AD brain reasons it out – I have wanted him to stop driving since he was diagnosed almost 2 years ago. As it happens I stood up against the neuropsychologist, social workers, and support group members for over a year, because I felt it was safe for him to drive. Only when I felt his judgment, reasoning, and memory, were affecting his driving did I step in.  Of course, he does not see it this way, but that is AD at work.

The truth is that I would have given anything if he could have continued to drive, because now, I am chief driver. Lets see how that is working out. I am now driving with a man in the passenger seat who cannot understand why I don’t have to always be FIRST; why I don’t care if other cars go faster than the speed limit and pass me; why I need more notice to switch lanes than – “DO IT NOW!”; and after 38 years, still doesn’t understand that I have no sense of direction, and would prefer Miss GPS’s calm sweet voice, to his “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHY DON’T YOU KNOW WHICH WAY OUT OF THE PARKING LOT IS WEST? ”

The litany of my errors is unending. I am somewhat short in stature (okay, very short), so it is difficult for me to see out of the back and around the car. Therefore, I prefer to park in a space that I can drive out of, rather than BACK out of. Up until this week, I was unaware that was WRONG! UNACCEPTABLE – CAUSE FOR TAKING MY LICENSE AWAY. I was also unaware that driving in the right hand lane was THE WRONG WAY TO DRIVE. Apparently, it is some kind of impeachable offense to have to slow down when the car in front of me is taking a right turn. If I would just drive in the middle lane, I could whiz right by, never having to slow down. ( I do drive in the middle lane on the highway, in case you are wondering.)

Mario Andretti, I am not. I admit that. I am not a speed demon. I don’t consider driving a contact sport, and I have not had an accident since 1988. That accident, by the way, occurred while I was STOPPED at red light and someone plowed into the back of me.

If I did not think it was a safety necessity for him to stop driving, would I voluntarily put myself in this position?  He has been doing my errands and grocery shopping for 4 years – does he really think I wanted to resume those duties?

I need to research and write the workshops I am planning on doing this fall for my new business venture. Does he honestly think I WANT to have to jump up and go every time he needs to go someplace?

One of my friends warned me that once I started doing all of the driving, I should wear clothes under my nightgown, because at a moment’s notice, I would have to whip off the nightgown, get into the car and DRIVE him somewhere.

So in answer to Dr. Phil’s question – “How’s that working for you?” Not bad at all if the passenger would put on a blindfold and go to sleep until we reach our destination.

File under – One must have a sense of humor in the worst of situations.

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