JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, AUGUST 14, 2008 – THE ENERGIZER CAREGIVER BUNNY KEEPS ON GOING……………..STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL

Our message boards are filled with women, who write (and men who read, but rarely write), of working outside of the home, driving their spouses to doctor’s appointments, taking them with them on errands because they either will not stay home alone, or are not capable of staying home alone; never sleeping through the night because of spousal wandering, incontinent accidents, or agitation; constant care giving to their spouses’ physical and mental needs; their own stress from the loneliness and depression caused by the loss of their life partner, stress from dealing with AD rages – the list is endless. Yet these caregivers keep going and going and going, with no time to tend to their own physical problems. The most common phrase is – “I do what I have to do without thinking about it. I just do it.”

But what I am now calling the Energizer Bunny Caregiver Syndrome is going to lead us straight into the hospital. We get so wrapped up in not only caring for our spouses’ needs, and taking them from one doctor’s appointment to the next, one medical test to the next, one consultation to the next,  that we have no time for our own doctor’s appointments and medical tests.

Reading through the various threads on the Message Boards will tell the story of caregivers who have had heart problems, anxiety attacks, stomach problems, and cancer, to name but a few, not just due to the stress of care giving, but due to neglecting their own health maintenance with tests that can catch some of these conditions early. Many have chronic conditions that have worsened due to neglect and stress. It has taken years for many of them to recover. I am as guilty of this attitude as the next person. Almost a year ago, I wrote a blog about caregivers taking care of themselves. I wrote at that time that I was going to make appointments for the tests I am years overdue in having. I have not made one of those appointments yet.

I personally know a woman who waited 4 years too long to have a knee replacement because she was so focused on her AD husband’s needs; of a woman who insisted she could handle her AD husband’s rages by herself, and is now undergoing tests for heart and stomach problems; of a man who put off his knee surgery for 3 years because he could not get his large, extended family to help with his AD wife.

All types of assistance – short term respite, long term respite, rides to the hospital for treatment – are available, so we can get the tests, surgeries, appointments, and procedures we need to keep ourselves healthy. You can find out what is available in your area by calling the Alzheimer Hotline – 1-800-272-3900, and clicking this link for services in your area.

Patrick from the Caregiver Cruises, of whom you have heard me speak many times, said to me – “Joan, you have to stop being afraid to ask for what you need.” We bunnies are going to march ourselves right into the hospital if we don’t start taking care of our needs and seeking the help we require.
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